Bittersweet

"Fantasy Jun 27, '08 3:28 AM
for everyone
It was a plain night. Andeven in my wildest dream, I can never really think of this can happened. We treat each other as strangers whenever there are people around us but deep in our hearts, there's something really in between.

A simple sight can mean a hundred words.
That's how exagge it is :)

It was a plaaaiin night, I hang out with a set of friends, laughs and giggle with them. But because of the desire to take some shot, we decided to go somewhere out there. But unfortunately, most of them are not "capable" for that night. :|

"She" had to go home early, so I was left with my stranger.
At first, I dunno what to say and what to act even that we have shared a lot way back then. Its different now, because it's been "sold" to others..

We need each other,
Im ineed of a friend,
so he talked to me.
it was cold, so we hug.
the intamacy rises so we kiss.

I can't sleep, but he gave me reason that I have to.
He held me close to his arms, assuring me that he's never gonna let go..

As the morning start to gaze in, I know that the end is soon :|
The stranger should go back to the reality, and so was I.

He never leave me alone..
Even we part ways as the sun rises, I know he's still there. :)
For the mesages he left and the messages I received from him after it :)


It was a fantasy come into life :)
And I guess, It will never happen again because of certain conditions :|
But what matters most is, we shared something that is worth for a lifetime :))"



"Now I'm screaming I'm shouting I can't hear a thing
My eyes burn and blister I can't feel the pain
I don't know why I'm here
I don't know why I'm here"
-Emily (Paraluman)


How those memories start to lingers on and on. Im having a hard time convincing myself to stop thinking about him and for what we've shared. Especially that night.
Everything is stuck on my mind. EVERYTHING~


"Magkasuyo buong gabi..
Masayang magkatabi..
Magkayakap sa buong magdamag..."

That lyrics struck me the most. It simply explains everything. As in. God! If he only knew how hard for it for me to go on.. if he only knew what he did to me...For how it affected me. For he was so very unusual to find. Im longing for him. I really do...

"I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but i try not to cry
As time goes by and soon as you've reached a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But It's like you gone too soon
No the hardest thing to do is say bye bye"
-E=mc2

San Pedro, Laguna. Past 12. Waiting for 12:30 midnight..
Sa loob ng....
"B: Teka bili muna ko yosi, sino pwede kasama?"
(Sabay tingin sken..)
"B: Ikaw na lang..."

Tumango ako. Alam kong kakausapin nya ko kung bakit ako hindi nagsasalita ng mga oras n yon. Magulo isip ko non kase. Nakalimutan ko na kung baket. Lumabas na sya at sumunod ako. Naglakad kame patungo sa naglalako ng yosi. Katulad ng dati, nsa likod nya ko. Lage nmen pinagtatalunan yon. Kung bakit daw ayaw kong sumabay sakanyang maglakad, kung bakit lage akong nasa likod...

"B: Ano bang problema mo? Bat nkasimangot ka?"
Tanong nya saken. Napakaamo ng mukha nya non. Alam kong nagaalala sya sakin. Kase nung nasa 7elven pa lng kme tinatanong n nya ko kung bakit, kahit paiwas ang sagot ko..
"C: Wala.."
Ang blanko ng sagot ko. Alam ko...
Inaasahan ko n kung ano ang sagot nya..
"B: Wala pero ganyan ka. Napapraning ka nanaman..."
Sabi ko n nga ba eh.. Yun ang sasabihin nya. Lage nya sinasabi yo eh. Dahil don, napangiti ako. Nakarating kame sa nagtitinda... Hindi ko n narinig kung ano man ang sinabi nya sa tindera kase busy ako sa pagtetext.. Tumalikod sa ale n nagtitinda ng yosi. Humarap saken..
"B: Ngumiti ka nga.."
Ssbay suntok ng mahina. Suntok na alam kong pagpapahiwatig ng utos, ng sakit at dillemang nararamdaman nya pag ganon ako. Gusto nyang umayos ako.. Yun ang gusto nya palagi..


Nwala lahat ng pagkagulo sa isip ko non pagkasabi nya ng mga salitang yon.. Kahit Lage nman nya sinsabi yon sken kahit wala akong problema pinapangiti nya ko. Kahit nung magkachat kami sa YM at nkawebcam ako, pinapangiti nya ko.. Malaking bagay para sakanya ang pag ngiti. Dun ako lalong humanga sakanya.. Sa pagbibigay sa ibang tao para ngumiti...

"Been wanting to say goodbye but it leads me back to you.."
-Emily (Paraluman)


"All day long I was thinking of him. I miss him alot. I really do.. For only I have the chance to talk to him again. I will.. But I simply can't. Things aren't the same and will never be the same. I guess the best thing that I can do now is find something to spend my time on... And.... Get rid of him... Soon...

I'll try...."