Breaking up with someone you care about is one of the toughest decisions any of us will ever have to go through. Dealing with the pain and heart break is never easy.
We just have to live the days as they are set out and not live in the past. Broken hearts are never healed. They haunt us for a lifetime even if we find someone else. Our past teaches us lessons that make us more aware and more human.
Why then do we feel so hurt knowing it can only get better?
It ended so soon. So soon that I never expect that it will happen this early. We have been together officially for 3 weeks, and now, we are separated. :'(
Since Friday, I noticed a change in him. He did not text me for a whole afternoon, I called him but he didn't answer a single call from me. Since then, I know that there is something wrong. I wanted to talk to him about it but he refused.
This morning, we seemed okay. We even have a talked about how are we going to defeat each other when it comes to getting slim. But when noon comes, I asked him if about my birthday and he became hesitant about it. I even ask him if he'll stay up late tonight so I can call him but he said that he'll sleep early.
He became distant. And I don't know what's behind it. So I asked him what is our problem. And he said nothing. He insist a cool off. :'( And he really caught me off guard. In that instant, I cried. And maybe God knows that I am in great pain that time so he sent a rain from up above. I went home wet, for I forgot to bring my umbrella. *So maybe that's why I have coughs and colds right now.*
I don't know what to say. I am so blank. And I admit that I've uttered so many things that I wished that I did not say. I know that I he's hurting too, but not as much as me.
This midnight, I tried to talked to him again. And he said that we are better off as friends. I cannot take it. I insist that we should give it a try again. I even beg him to stay. But he refuses.
I am totally wrecked right now. I am such a damn mess! I even forgot to take my dinner and do some stuff. I don't know. I am so blank. I am fully hurt because I cannot understand why.
I asked him to give me a reason and he just said "basta....", what am I gonna do with basta? I asked him if there's someone new, he said "Wala..", if that's the case. So why is it so easy for him to let go of me like this? *sob
I told him that don't let go of the 3weeks that we've shared. We are just starting and it's too early to judge if it will not work or what, but he just said that "Hwag mong ipagmalaki ang 3weeks.." I know that 3weeks was just a short time compared to his past relationships, he even compared me to his ex.. Which happens often.
We just have to live the days as they are set out and not live in the past. Broken hearts are never healed. They haunt us for a lifetime even if we find someone else. Our past teaches us lessons that make us more aware and more human.
Why then do we feel so hurt knowing it can only get better?
Since Friday, I noticed a change in him. He did not text me for a whole afternoon, I called him but he didn't answer a single call from me. Since then, I know that there is something wrong. I wanted to talk to him about it but he refused.
This morning, we seemed okay. We even have a talked about how are we going to defeat each other when it comes to getting slim. But when noon comes, I asked him if about my birthday and he became hesitant about it. I even ask him if he'll stay up late tonight so I can call him but he said that he'll sleep early.
He became distant. And I don't know what's behind it. So I asked him what is our problem. And he said nothing. He insist a cool off. :'( And he really caught me off guard. In that instant, I cried. And maybe God knows that I am in great pain that time so he sent a rain from up above. I went home wet, for I forgot to bring my umbrella. *So maybe that's why I have coughs and colds right now.*
I don't know what to say. I am so blank. And I admit that I've uttered so many things that I wished that I did not say. I know that I he's hurting too, but not as much as me.
This midnight, I tried to talked to him again. And he said that we are better off as friends. I cannot take it. I insist that we should give it a try again. I even beg him to stay. But he refuses.
I am totally wrecked right now. I am such a damn mess! I even forgot to take my dinner and do some stuff. I don't know. I am so blank. I am fully hurt because I cannot understand why.
I asked him to give me a reason and he just said "basta....", what am I gonna do with basta? I asked him if there's someone new, he said "Wala..", if that's the case. So why is it so easy for him to let go of me like this? *sob
I told him that don't let go of the 3weeks that we've shared. We are just starting and it's too early to judge if it will not work or what, but he just said that "Hwag mong ipagmalaki ang 3weeks.." I know that 3weeks was just a short time compared to his past relationships, he even compared me to his ex.. Which happens often.
"My relationship with Mimyl is still the best relationship that I'd ever had."
When I read that message, everything in me hurts. It felt like I am such damn freaking loser compared to her.. I apologize for I am not like her. I cannot be like her. Si Cheska lang ako, at hanggang doon na lang yon.
I wonder if he really loved me at all. And he just answered. "Ndi."
So that's it. It was all in my mind that he loves me. It was a one-sided love relationship from the start.
I don't know if I deserve this kind of torment.
All I know that, is I am slowly cracking up and falling to pieces.
I don't know how until when I will be like this.
I wish that this pain will just fade in a snap.
But the least thing that I can do now is pray for the strength to move on.
Months of friendship and a whirlwind relationship is now gone.
There is no 21 to count on.
There is no US anymore..
--
I don't know where did I get the strength to attend our NSTP Culmination activity awhile ago. :'(
I wonder if he really loved me at all. And he just answered. "Ndi."
So that's it. It was all in my mind that he loves me. It was a one-sided love relationship from the start.
I don't know if I deserve this kind of torment.
All I know that, is I am slowly cracking up and falling to pieces.
I don't know how until when I will be like this.
I wish that this pain will just fade in a snap.
But the least thing that I can do now is pray for the strength to move on.
Months of friendship and a whirlwind relationship is now gone.
There is no 21 to count on.
There is no US anymore..
--
I don't know where did I get the strength to attend our NSTP Culmination activity awhile ago. :'(
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