January 29

So I'm gonna hit the keys as the ideas keep splashing in my head.
It was still the thoughts of him.
It was still Lid whom I am thinking right now.
And it hurts. I miss my man.
And I guess that's the least thing that I can do right now - miss him.

Thursday was as plain as Wednesday.
Got to attend my class, go home, and do some online stuffs.
I kill my time in doing these stuffs.

7:33PM
I just finished my dinner. And it was awful. Why? Because I cooked it. Hahaha!
Mom is going home late so I have to do the chores now, cook the dinner and act as a mom to my brother and to my foster brother which is infact my cousin who is currently living here with us.
~
I talked to papa awhile ago. And it was all about my debut stuff. Specifically, the budget.
Tita Tonton, former classmate of my dad is going to shoulder the expenses for my debut. I don't know if she's talking about all the expenses or she and my mom will do some parting.

I am so thankful about this matter.
It felt like my dream debut will happened because of them.
And that's why I am so excited of.

7:37PM
I am kinda annoyed here because my cousins and brother are talking about stuffs that I don't even know that they even exist. WTF! It's about an online game that I am not familiar of. And it's pissing me off coz I can't relate to them.
I am on the state of pure ignorance. Hahahahha!
I pity myself for that! LMAO!

~
Talking about the news tonight. It was really absurd that both administration parties or should I say alliances can't merge with each other because of different agendas. Isn't it ironic? Administration Vs. Opposition, then Admistration vs. Itself! LOL! Maybe that's why Philippines meet it's worst nowadays. :D



7:42PM
I think I'm gonna shut up right now, ayt? LOL!
Soo yeah, buhbye :D

It's a great day

January 28.
No classes today because it's the feast of St. Thomas Aquinas.
So yeah, it's a great day coz I am free from all the school burdens and stuffs.

Yesterday, our PE class was sooooo fun!
As in super duper!
Group 2's presentation taught us how to create some accessories.
We brought beads and they provide all the other materials.
It was a lot of fun, and my friends and I think to make a business out of it
So watch out for that.
I am sooo excited. :)


Woot!
I am currently watching in youtube some tutorials in Adobe Photoshop.
Well, goodluck fer me. :)

Twistedzion

There are things in life that are worth waiting for.
And he is one of those things.

January 23, 2009

We went to Mcdo,Muñoz to buy lunch.
Both of us had nothing to say.
Yet silence keeps us intact together.

He's really a nice guy.
Too nice that I find him different.
Well, maybe that's the reason why I do like him this much.

When we talk, in text messages, nor YM or even personally.
There's no hindrance for me to be myself.
He knew my past, and so was I to him.
Yet, nothing change.



Commitment is not next on the line, I know.
For he don't want to rush things.
And that's fine with me.
Wooott!
Nuff said.
.____________________.

Departure

My dad's leaving tomorrow.
He'll be off here in 2:45PM, January 24, 2009.

For next 2 years, he'll be away from us.
Even in my debut, he'll be absent.
Sad. :[[

I'm gonna miss him.


Let's pray for his safety please...

VLAREJ

I really find it hard to wait.
I am fond of rushing things.
And I always end up losing them.
And I want to change that attitude.

I like this guy so much. And he don't want to rush things.

Because of his personal reasons, and one of those is he's not yet ready. And maybe, that he's still in love with his past love. Even though that we already talked about his past lover and he said that he's over with it. The way he describe everything about them, I know that he still longs for this girl.

I pity myself for I really envy that girl.
I wish that I am her. :(
Or I should say, I wish to be next to her...


Haayyyysss.
I like him so much. Yeahhh!
:(
I don't know what to do.
I want to have him, but at the same time I want to respect his decision that he don't want to rush thing. But what worried me the most is, I don't know if he likes me.

I miss being loved

I never regret the day that I laid my eyes on him,
What I regret was, I stared.
I never regret the day that I've found courage to talk to him,
What I regret was, it last that long.

I never regret the time whom I admit my love for him,
What I regret was, I had loved him easily.
I never regret the time I permit him to kiss me.
What I regret was, the kiss drown me away.

And as the time pass by.
And our story came to its end.
I never regret the day that I let him go.
What I regret was, I said that it's better if he do.
I never regret for the time that I've cried myself to sleep.
What I regret was, I'm still in the same state.


--
Self made poem
Title: Regret

Tuesday

I think Tuesday is my working day of the week.
Evertytime that I got my home, the only thing and wishes to do is lay down and feel the full caress of my bed.

This day is a goodish one.
Good because we presented our roleplay on our RC course very well.
Even though that our professor seems not to appreciate it becauses she's only texting and even walk away as soon as the play was finished. No comment at all.
Tssh. She's really a bad ass. Tsk!

Lunch was definitely great.
I ate siomai at chumbayan for lunch with bunch of friends.
But PE class was worst.
Our very good leader was absent. It felt like she left us hanging.
We don't know what to do. Arrgghhh!
Well so much for that.

I met a new friend today. Actually he's my crush so that's a big wow for me.
But my night gone bad when I talked to Hmmmm..
We had a topic about relationship and he said that.. he's not ready for a commitment.
Hayssssstttt.

I don't know what to say.

UST love :3

Love this pic!
Thanks to Daneca hwo took this shot.
Thanks to Adobe for the Color Editing :)
Hahahhhahah!



Exam week is over.
And last Saturday I got a chance to talk with my Accounting prof and horray!
He told us that no one in our section failed the exam. :)
Thank you Lord!

Magbasa ka Nilalang!

Whatever makes you the way you are
is the exact opposite of whatever makes me the way I am.

I got time, while he got freedom.

It's a marvelous day for me today.
It's felt like I have been brought out again from my shell since a long time ago.
Well, I have encountered two gorgeous people today, my former classmates Lia and Lorena. And they both told me that I look different and great today. Hahhaha!
That made my day. Well, I think, basically it's a big thing for a girl that someone will say that she's beautiful or she look good today. Right? Well maybe except for those who are sooooo gorgeous that that things became a normal thing in their life :) But since I'm just only an average looking girl, that kind of things are kinda extraordinary. :)

Thats all.
Woottt!

Alter Ego

"If you don't correct them when they upset you,
they will never ever treat you with respect."

And it's really absurd that when you start correcting them,
they begin to hate you. And misunderstood what you are doing.
It really freaks me off because I have known so many people who are like this.

But I think, It's really a human nature.
Wherein, it's a part of a defense mechanism that you don't want to be corrected.
That's why ego is created.

Mirau

"Life is too short
to be someone else."

-Mirau

January 08

It was basically a plain day for me.
It's Thursday and I got home early.
I even left my friend Daryl coz I am craving for food. (I don't took breakfast kasi.)

And now, I'm killing my time by net surfing.
And Oh, I got pissed off. Coz my friendster profile got busted.
I lost my hidecodes because friendster filtered the codes.
Arrrgggg!

Oh well, I don't have anything sensible here to say.
Just updating! ;)

Lesson 101

Don't make conclusions when you yourself is not involved in the situation.
And don't ever judge a person negatively when you yourself is acting like one.

Kawalan man O liwanag; Siya pa rin

I.
Isang patak..
Pangalawang patak..
Pangatlo...

Hindi ko namalayan na unti-unti ko na palang pinapalaya ang mga luhang pilit kong tinatago nitong mga nakaraang araw.
Nabigo na naman ako. Kahit anong pilit ko kasing umiwas sa kawalan ay nagawa pa rin nito akong hilahin at lunurin sa kanyang taglay na kadiliman.
Nawawala ako. Bulag sa kadiliman pumupuno sa aking paningin.
Nasaan ba siya?
Siya na nagsisilbing liwanag ko sa madilim na araw tulad nito.

II.
Sa aking gunita, manamnam kong dinama ang kanyang bawat haplos.
Haplos na iba ang gumagawa.
Sa bawat taong nakikita at nakakasalamuha ko kasi'y, hinahanap ko ang kanyang presensiya.
Presensiya na hinahanap ko nga, ngunit pilit ko namang tinatakasan.

Heto na naman siya.
Parang aninong hindi mawala.

III.
Sa bawat paggalaw ng aking labi sa iba'y nagsisilbing pagtakas ko sa kanya.
Pero mas lalo lang nito pinapalala ang obsesyong nararamdaman ko.
Parang hinahalay ko ang aking sarili. At ang bawat sarap ay siya ang gumagawa.

Matindi.
Malala.

Wala na ba kong magagawa?
Paano ko makakatakas sa kawalang na wari'y pinagsakluban ng pag-asa?
Pag asa na mismong tinalikuran ko?

IV.
Kung hindi lang ito para sa akin, hindi ako magaabalang pilitin ang mga mata kong dumilat.
Ngunit para ito sa aking pagkatao. Pagkatao na kahit papaano'y gusto kong iligtas mula sa kanya. Sa kanya na hinahanap hanap ko.
Kaya't dumilat ako. Dinilat ko ang aking mga mata na ultimong nabubog dahil puno ng pangungulila't paghihinagpis.

Sa pagdilat ko'y, Natamo ko ang liwanag na pinaghirapan kong abutin.
Liwanag na unti-unting nagpakita ng realidad na..
Nandoon siya. Nakatayo. Naghihintay sa akin.
Nandoon na naman siya.
Sa katauhan ng iba.

2009: New Life

January 1 2009
First day of new year.
I have a new # for a new life. :)
New life means new world and new principle.

Year 2008 is awful.
So many shits happened in my life.
I even lost friends whom I thought that will stay in good times and bad times.
I may not gain anyone these year,
I may be evil in few and in existent in some people out there.
But life must still go on.

As the New Year breaks, I promise not to have any love issues anymore.
I am fed up of doing stupid things for love.
I had cried so many times this year and I think that would be enough.

As 2009 comes, I'll focus more on other things. Studies maybe.
And gaining friends in online community.
I will not use my cellphone every time.
I will spend more time reading books.
And helping in household chores. (I'll think it tru. Ha-ha-ha!!)



Haayyyy.
Sa tuwing naiisip ko tong taon na to parang wala masyadong nangyare.
Puro kasi away at pagkabigo. Nakakainis talaga.
Minsan hindi ko alam kung deserve ko pa ba tong nangyayare sakin. :(
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! *Supersigh!
Pero wala.. Hindi ako magmomove on ngayon. Eh mahal ko pa rin e :)
Yaan na lang muna.
Waiit n lng :) Malay mo mag iba isip :)

Dati naman masayahin akong tao pero ngaun parang ang loner ko na.
Wala lang. Siguro kasi ako na rin may kasalanan. Super focus ako sa isang tao tas pooofft! Wala naman nangyayare. Nakakapanghina ng loob.
Tas minsan wala ka pang mapagsabihan.

Tas nitong December pa :( Haayyysssttt! Ano ba yan.
Ang saaaaaaaaaaaddddd ko talagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Sana ngayong 2009 na maging masaya naman ako.
Yung masaya talagang totoo!!